Cinema Suicide

Look, this town isn’t big enough for two metal bands wearing rubber monster costumes but as far as I’m concerned, Gwar has overstayed their welcome.  The last time I saw them was probably ten years ago and they were already recycling the concept of the Live From Antarctica tour.  They’ve also made movies and if you’re already into the Gwar sense of humor then shit like Skulhedface will probably appeal to you.  However, even some of Troma’s cheapest originals look better than that one.

So here comes Lordi, straight out of Finland, sounding like a trainwreck of Twisted Sister’s Stay Hungry, Kiss’ Creatures of the Night and everything Alice Cooper released in the 80s’ (Constrictor, Raise Your Fist and Yell and Trash).  I could go on with the name dropping but I think you get the picture.   They, too, do the rubber monster suits but aren’t nearly as gory as Gwar.  As a matter of fact, they’re more an extension of Kiss’ stage getup.  They’re theatrical but only to a point.  In the end, you show up for the music rather than the decapitations and bestial-necrophilia jokes, you know?  Might I also say, I’m quite the fan of Lordi.  Nearly 20 years later, many of those spent pretending to loathe cheesy metal, and I’m still not over the bands that lured me to metal in the first place.  If you grew up on gimmicky rock and roll theatrics, you’ll understand completely.

Lordi’s music videos for Blood Red Sandman (a take on The Evil Dead) and Hard Rock Halleluja are practically horror movies already, albeit with more metal but they’re poised to release an actual feature length horror flick in February entitled Dark Floors which looks like it plays out more like the Silent Hill video game than the Silent Hill movie adaptation did.  Here’s the synopsis from Twitch:

Concerned for her autistic daughter’s health, the father sees a removal from the hospital by force as the only option. An elevator break-down prevents a smooth exit and renders them trapped with others. Yet the incident is only the beginning of a descent into nightmare. As the doors open the hospital appears mysteriously deserted. When mutilated bodies are found, creatures from a dark world start a frightening attack. It soon becomes clear that the survival of the group may rest solely on the little girl.

Hop on over to Twitch and see the whole thing.  Not many looks at the monsters or, more specifically, the band, but I have high hopes for a shamelessly high-concept good time.