Cinema Suicide

It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen anything as unapologetically violent and deliriously enjoyable as Noboru Iguchi’s stylish 2008 super-heroine epic The Machine Girl. From the picture’s over-the-top blood-spattered opening to its slightly ambiguous sequel-ready conclusion, yours truly sat in complete awe, slack-jawed and astonished. To be perfectly honest, I’ve never seen anything quite like it — except, of course, for the 2005 splatter flick Meatball Machine, yet another ridiculous Japanese oddity specifically designed to overload your fragile cinematic senses with copious amounts of grue and gore. If this is where Asian genre filmmaking is headed, color me tickled pink and pulsating.

Let’s get one thing perfectly clear before we begin: The Machine Girl isn’t an overly complicated affair, nor does it strive to be. The central premise has been used time and time again in various forms of Eastern cinema, almost to the point that even casual fans can recite the formula by heart to anyone within earshot. It’s a clothesline for filleted flesh and massacred muscle, nothing more. However, were you to carefully peel back those meaty layers of dismembered limbs and congealed blood, you would come face-to-face with an ordinary, everyday revenge tale mired in cliche and familiar ideas. Which is a good thing, mind you, since the plot never gets in the way of the one element that keeps us from finding more constructive ways to pass the time.

That element, of course, is wanton bloodshed.

For hyperbole’s sake, let’s call The Machine Girl the snappiest gorefest since Peter Jackson’s cult classic Braindead. However, that poorly-written statement does little to prepare you for the mind-numbingly bizarre acts of violence you’re about to behold. Arterial sprays, blood-drinking ninja yakuzas, electric drill bras, entrail vomiting mothers, deep-fried hands, and self-cannibalizing sushi-eating servants are but a fraction of the collected insanity awaiting those brave enough to venture into this breathless excursion into madcap gore. I’d immediately watch the whole affair again in its entirety were I not bogged down by a full-time job and endless real world responsibilities. Such is life, I suppose.

The film stars Japanese cutie Asami as Ami Hyuga, a mild-mannered schoolgirl who is forced to care for her adorably spineless brother Yu after the unexpected suicide of their allegedly murderous parents. Yu, naturally, is a soft-spoken, good-natured milquetoast and a perpetual target for bullying by a pack of thugs spearheaded by the son of a ruthless ninja-trained yakuza. When Ami’s brother attempts to fight back for once in his life, he and his best friend are unceremoniously tossed from a parking garage for their troubles. Splat.

Being the dedicated sister that she is, Ami immediately seeks vengeance for her sibling’s untimely demise. This, of course, leads to an unsuccessful showdown with the men responsible for the crime, an event which leaves the pretty little lady without much of a left arm to speak of. Thankfully, and just in the nick of time, Ami is rescued by a couple who initially blamed the girl for the death of their son Takeshi. When they discover who, exactly, is behind the murder of their geeky teenage boy, they immediately decide to help this mutilated girl in her quest for revenge.

The Machine Girl is certainly not for everyone. It’s incredibly twisted, mean-spirited, and, at times, gratuitously violent. Had writer/director Noboru Iguchi not infused this drippy nonsense with a sharp sense of humor, all of these juicy pieces may have been too much to swallow. That said, watching an arm-mounted machine gun completely rip the skin off some random yakuza thug’s face may be a little overblown for some palettes, especially when said goon’s horrified skull won’t stop screaming. There are literally dozens of blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moments like this sprinkled throughout the picture, giving you plenty of reasons to head back for more at a later date. I’m penciled in for next Tuesday.

My only real complaint about the film as a whole is the somewhat dodgy quality of the effects. Is it rather nifty to watch some poor kid’s severed head bubble to the surface of his mom’s soupy supper? Of course. Sadly, the prop looks nothing like the victim, a fact which may or may not pull some touchy viewers right out of the movie. I thought it was a riot; others, I’m afraid, may not feel the same way. Complaining about other things — dialogue, storyline, performances, etc. — is akin to screaming endlessly at a deaf-mute in a dark room when you’re dealing with a production like this. Just sit back, relax, and try to ignore the flubs and flaws.

Tiny problems aside, The Machine Girl is brilliant. I haven’t had more fun watching a Japanese film all year, and that includes a repeat viewing of Takashi Miike’s influential yakuza thriller Dead or Alive. Iguchi’s biting sense of humor, combined with several tongue-in-cheek performance, an impressive turn by Asami, and an insane amount of red stuff, help ease the pain of its familiar premise and its oh-so predictable outcome. This is a great origin story for what could become an incredible franchise for all involved. Huge kudos to Tokyo Shock for giving this project a pair of saucy cinematic legs.

I can’t wait to watch it again.