Cinema Suicide

Yes. It’s called Tentacle Grape. It’s a hentai soft drink. I’m simultaneously repelled and very, very thirsty. I loves me some grape soda, even when it suggests that giant cosmic tentacle monsters are forcefully having their way with animated Japanese school girls. Can you possibly conceive of a funnier product name?

I can’t.

I also have no idea how this stuff tastes, but if Tentacle Grape Soda were to, say, send me a case, I’d be more than happy to take it for a spin and possibly endorse it here on my website. It touts itself as the most delicious hentai soda on the market and I’m willing to take their word for it since competition on that market can’t be particularly stiff, no pun intended.  Speaking of puns, here’s what Tentacle Grape wants you to know about their beverage:

Tentacle Grape™ is the brainchild of Dekker Dreyer and his skilled team of grapists. Each bottle of this delicious carbonated grape drink is crafted with care… and a slight feeling of breathless anticipation. As Tentacle Grape™ slides smoothly down your throat you’ll feel refreshed and full.

Yum?