21 Jan

Jane Austen just got a whole lot cooler. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

Posted by Bryan White | Wednesday January 21, 2009 | News

pride and prejudice and zombiesAn anonymous source suffering from a serious case of bibliophilia recently passed a bit of news on to me about something I couldn’t resist reporting about. Have you ever wondered what Jane Austen’s classic comedy of manners would have been like had it featured Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy battling hordes of the undead? I haven’t either, but it probably would have been a lot cooler. I had to read this book in high school and it was agony. Thankfully, Seth Grahame-Smith is here to make things interesting by adding a layer of gory mayhem over the stifling, dry wit of Jane Austen’s original text. Yes, it’s the original book through and through, so it’s not like you’re being cheated, but it’s been given the Kilgore Trout treatment, complete with lurid illustrations.

From Quirk Books:

As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she’s soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead.

And now an excerpt from the story:

“Come, Darcy,” said Mr. Bingley, “I hate to see you standing by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance.”

“I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it.”

“I would not be as fastidious as you are for a kingdom! I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life as I have this evening; and several of them are uncommonly pretty.”

Before Mr. Darcy could respond, a chorus of screams filled the assembly hall, immediately joined by the shattering of window panes. Unmentionables scrambled in, their movements clumsy yet swift; their burial clothing in a range of untidiness.

Guests who had the misfortune of standing near the windows were seized and feasted on at once. Elizabeth watched Mrs. Long struggle to free herself as two female dreadfuls bit into her head, cracking her skull like a walnut, and sending a shower of dark blood spouting as high as the chandeliers.

Update! Pride and Prejudice and Zombies will be available from Quirk May 13th, 2009. Preorder your copy now!

13 Comments 

  1. January 21, 2009 11:44 am

    Agatha Christ-Almighty

    Hahahaha…ha.

  2. January 22, 2009 1:39 am

    AustenBlog . . . she’s everywhere » Jane Austen Ate My Brain

    […] Janeite Laurel Ann let us know about a short excerpt from Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, coming in April from Quirk […]

  3. January 22, 2009 7:34 am

    Marc

    This is hilarious. Not only am I going to be forced to repost this at my site, but I’m now going to have to go out and purchase this. Great find!

  4. January 23, 2009 12:32 pm

    Jeremy Couturier

    This is a great idea…imagine all the other possible applications.

  5. January 23, 2009 12:43 pm

    Bryan White

    No shit.

    Sense and Sensibility and Ninjas.

  6. January 23, 2009 5:18 pm

    Retroman Steve

    awesome! posted in my twitter. Gave you a shout out.

  7. January 24, 2009 10:43 am

    houseinrlyeh

    Finally, a Jane Austen book everyone can get behind!

  8. January 25, 2009 3:21 am

    lizik

    OMG! briliant!

  9. February 3, 2009 5:41 pm

    Zombies and Vampires and Jane Austen, Oh My! Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is Haute! « Austenprose

    […] is an excerpt compliments from Bryan at Cinema Suicide who tells me he has it from a super secret source.  “Come, Darcy,” said Mr. Bingley, […]

  10. February 9, 2009 11:59 pm

    j.monty

    Awesome. The only way to read Jane Austen – when’s the movie coming out?!?!?

  11. February 10, 2009 9:14 am

    Bryan White

    Well, the book’s publication was pushed up to April to meet all this internet hype but I’m told that it has been optioned for a movie. I have nothing to back it up, though.

  12. February 10, 2009 1:23 pm

    Uncompleted Works › Zombies + Jane Austen = Win?

    […] Cinema-Suicide has a bit of the dialog up: “Come, Darcy,” said Mr. Bingley, “I hate to see you standing by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance.” […]

  13. January 3, 2012 1:18 pm

    mothergrace

    i read this last year and it was hilarious


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