An anonymous source suffering from a serious case of bibliophilia recently passed a bit of news on to me about something I couldn’t resist reporting about. Have you ever wondered what Jane Austen’s classic comedy of manners would have been like had it featured Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy battling hordes of the undead? I haven’t either, but it probably would have been a lot cooler. I had to read this book in high school and it was agony. Thankfully, Seth Grahame-Smith is here to make things interesting by adding a layer of gory mayhem over the stifling, dry wit of Jane Austen’s original text. Yes, it’s the original book through and through, so it’s not like you’re being cheated, but it’s been given the Kilgore Trout treatment, complete with lurid illustrations.
From Quirk Books:
As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she’s soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead.
And now an excerpt from the story:
“Come, Darcy,” said Mr. Bingley, “I hate to see you standing by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance.”
“I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it.”
“I would not be as fastidious as you are for a kingdom! I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life as I have this evening; and several of them are uncommonly pretty.”
Before Mr. Darcy could respond, a chorus of screams filled the assembly hall, immediately joined by the shattering of window panes. Unmentionables scrambled in, their movements clumsy yet swift; their burial clothing in a range of untidiness.
Guests who had the misfortune of standing near the windows were seized and feasted on at once. Elizabeth watched Mrs. Long struggle to free herself as two female dreadfuls bit into her head, cracking her skull like a walnut, and sending a shower of dark blood spouting as high as the chandeliers.