When you’re tapped into the world of horror filmmaking like I am you hear crazy-ass marketing gimmicks all the god damn time. Some people operating on limited budgets will do anything to get their movie in front of people and some of them get downright desperate. Additionally, back in the day, William Castle made a bunch of really crappy but extremely fun movies that became landmarks based entirely on their crazy marketing techniques. Joy buzzers in select theater seats, forcing theater patrons to sign waivers absolving theater owners of responsibility should they die of fright and whatnot. I didn’t really think people did that anymore. The internet makes that sort of chicanery moot and there’s a distributor these days for everything so even if you make a movie of yourself taking a dump, you can sell it to someone out there as an art film and it’ll wind up playing at Museum theaters at the very least. That’s just how it goes.
I’ll confide something in you, though. I love sketchy solicitations. I miss the sort of arrogant declaration that assures me that Horror Movie X will scare the shit out of me or my money back. I especially love this kind of solicitation because I swear to god, there isn’t a movie on Earth that really frightens me so bad that I feel like I can’t continue. As it stands, there’s, like, three movies in existence that I’m unable to finish but only because of how much they suck (Freddy Got Fingered, Underworld, The Pest). I’ve never heard of Phoonk. I’m not tapped in to Bollywood at all so movies coming out of Mumbai tend to fly past me without notice. Here’s director Ram Gopal Varma, though, with a sequel to his 2008 horror movie, Phoonk. He swears up and down that the movie is so frightening that no one will be able to watch the whole thing alone in a theater. If you can, he’ll hook you up with 500,000 rupees which you can then turn around and buy some bombs, a boomerang and some jars to keep fairies in or you can just take them to your local currency exchange and get the $10,000 that that amount of money roughly works out to.
Truthfully, I don’t even know what Phoonk is about. I’m told it’s a ghost story. Varma apparently tried this once before with the previous Phoonk and then withdrew the contest when allegations came out that the contest was rigged for failure. He told the press that the candidate ran out only a half hour into the movie. To challenge this, a fan in Bangalore booked an entire theater and kept medical staff on site while they watched the movie. Apparently, they made it all the way through. So to you, Ram Gopal Varma, I throw down this gauntlet. Fly me to Mumbai, hook me up to your machines and let me watch your movie. You’ll be owing me a cool ten grand, my friend.
February 26, 2010 2:20 pm
gotta love marketing gimmicks. I think the least movie that had me at least somewhat tense was “House of the Devil” and before that probably “The Descent”…Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants was pretty frightening too. But Would love to check out this film and see if it even raises my blood pressure. There was a lot of that hype surrounding Paranormal Activity and when I walked out I was like “was that it?” dang this desensitization.
February 27, 2010 11:04 am
i want to take up this challenge. how to register for this challenge…….please do provide the method with the news
February 28, 2010 1:12 pm
Your guess is as good as mine.
March 4, 2010 4:39 am
These Horror-Shysters that brilliantly market truly horrific films (in a bad way) like Blair Witch, and last years viral shit-fest Paranormal Activity should be subjected to a real-life variation of the “evil” in their films (for wantonly bilking rubes of their hard-earned money)– with real-life consequences. “Sheep” will always be swayed by the promise of true scares (bah), but almost a generation on seeing the box office for PA made me mad; why are people so fucking stupid? “AHH! The curtain moved!” Fuck that. I truly wish there was a film like “The Freak,” with the ad tag line “It won’t just scare you, it will fuck you up for life!”, but alas the idea of such an offering is only available in the brilliant comedy “Crazy People.” I enjoy being scared, but when I get suckered by some fuck with a great marketing department, it makes me wish to find each and everyone of them, and empty a clip of “riot” bullets into their faces.
March 4, 2010 8:59 am
Wow! Somebody’s cranky!
March 4, 2010 2:21 pm
Considering that 89% of our lives come down to marketing in some form or another, this isn’t that big a surprise. What is a surprise? That’s working. You posted it and even if it is just a ruse, he is still getting marketing out of it. Free marketing as well. Creating a sort of cultist following is what the horror business is all about (Last House on the Left, the original, has real footage, I heard it from a guy who gave Wes a coffee once, or this movie is so gory it’s like a snuff film). That’s why movies like Paranormal Activity work. Sure, it’s probably a crap fest, but because so many people said it was SOOOOOOO bad, I might have to watch it just to find out.
March 7, 2010 8:06 pm
im accept this challenge im not no little scardy cat i want to watch this movie i’m not scared of anything, so sign me up to watch this!!
March 9, 2010 12:09 am
A little off-topic, but Ram Gopal Varma has made some really kick-ass Bollywood crime movies. I’d start with COMPANY.
March 11, 2010 2:14 am
how to register?…….
I am gonna win this.
March 13, 2010 8:45 am
Mr. Verma I want to accept your challenge now plz tell me that what is the procedure to participate in phoonk2 contest.
March 25, 2010 8:56 am
I m ready to accept this challenge. But plz tell how to accept this challenge.
March 30, 2010 1:43 am
I m ready to watch it alone. Just tell me what’s the process of this Quiz. I believe Ghost Do Exist, But they dont Hurt without a Reason.
April 11, 2010 6:07 pm
i will see this movie alone in cenima hall
April 12, 2010 12:29 pm
I m ready to accept this challenge. But plz tell how to accept this challenge.
April 14, 2010 5:38 am
i m ready to except the challenge
April 15, 2010 10:08 am
I Will Do Your Challenge.
April 15, 2010 2:04 pm
I am ready to watch the movie & win the prize just contact me on my mail ID
April 16, 2010 11:51 am
ramu sir i know these are just rumours and publicity stunts but i u raelly have a gutz so plz dare to call me on 09975628624 i need the money and you need me for increase your viewers