Editor’s note: Running a bit late with this one so you’ll have to cut me a little slack. Tony had this in on time but it being summer and all that, I’m a freakin’ busy guy! My skills be in demand. In fact, what this means is that I couldn’t find a break in my day job to make this happen and Monday night is True Blood night where a planned launch of this article after the show was over was derailed by an offer I couldn’t refuse. So, TV junkies, suck it up because here’s your TVEye for the week.
This week, we have some horny A.I., whiny actresses, overstuffed writing, and a hematophagous Big Brother.
EUREKA – Let me start by remarking on the joy it brings me that the Battlestar Galactica spawned pseudo expletive FRAK has leeched over into Eureka and other shows in the SyFy channel universe. Douglas Fargo yelping Frak just brings a fun familiarity to a show that doesn’t take its self too serious, and for that, delivers one entertaining hour after another week by week. This week, the town of Eureka encounters a glitch in all of it’s A.I., a pretty large problem by Eureka standards, seeing as the town is run by robotics. The chaos starts when a cute Wall-E-esque robot is caught peeping at Eureka’s resident badass starlet, Jo in the shower. Soon, other A.I. take on curious emotional attachments. The completely robotic Deputy Andy begins wooing Jo, Fargo’s futuristic camping tent B.U.F.F.Y. (biomechanical unfolding fully automated yurt) literally falls for Fargo, urging him to quote “stay inside me.” Creepy! The A.I. love-fest gets serious when the Transformer like Titan chases down Carter who is saved by Fargo’s plea of “come with me if you want to live.” I love referential humor. In a subplot, Henry finally tells his alternate universe wife the truth about their dimensional intrusion, a confession which is sure to have interesting implications in the weeks to come. I’ll be watching!
SCREAM QUEENS – This week’s theme on Scream Queens, playing the villain. More than the first episode, we really got to see the girls sometimes quality, but mostly atrocious acting choices. Remember, they’re working towards a role in Saw 3D, so acting quality isn’t really that important. As with every reality show, we are presented with the few contestants we can route for, the group of unmemorable, and the all important drama queens (no pun intended) we are meant to love to hate. For me, the only two decent contestants are Christine and Ty. Both girls made some unique choices in the first challenge, creating their own versions of a witch I actually found to be refreshing compared to the cliché performances put on by the other girls. When it came to terrible performances, the Hanna Montana compared Rosanna, unfocussed Sarah, and excruciatingly annoying Sierra were all at their worst, or maybe that was their best. Sierra is so whiny and exhausting, and every performance comes off as porn. Poor Sarah is handicapped by her strong Chicago accent; Da Horror, Da Horror. In the end thou, it was Rosanna who was cut, for a horrendously flat performance. Sierra should have been, but we all know the producers want to keep the contestants around that deliver the most “Good TV.”
HAVEN – Where do I even begin with this show? Haven is supposed to be inspired by Stephen King’s Hard Case Crime novel The Colorado Kid. In reality, the series uses King’s book as a loose back-story, or moreover, a cheap reason to throw King’s name into the title to attract fan legitimacy. This show is anything but legit. Haven is a mysterious Maine town where each week a new supernatural event happens with a different Haven resident. The town is supposed to be a haven for the supernaturally cursed, and FBI agent Audrey Parker comes to town to investigate these strange occurrences, dubbed “the troubles.” This week, stuffed taxidermy animals come back to life to hunt the hunters who killed them. In a series of terrible effects deliberately masked behind shaky editing, the desired level of horror is marred by unintentional campiness. Where other Syfy shows like Eureka layer their action with playfulness, Haven tries to sell its camp as serious drama. It fails! In the end of this weeks episode, it turns out the animals are brought to life by a woman who herself is stuffed, and had stuffed her son as well when he died a few years prior. What? How or why is never really explained, and like every other episode in the series, the conclusion is so rushed that in the end nothing makes sense. What’s worse is the blasé acting and writing which make the show virtually unwatchable.
TRUE BLOOD – What an opening! The V-feds, a group of muscled agents in heavy black, silver lined armor raid Fangtasia. This is the beginning of what’s sure to be an awesome route in the True Blood story. The AVL (American Vampire League) or Vampire Authority is a Big Brother like organization that governs the vampires of the States with a silver fist. The League is behind the Great Revelation, the vampire equivalent to the civil rights movement. This season has thus far mixed a variety of storylines that all seem so separate and off track of a focused storyline like last years Maryann saga. At first this bugged me, but with tonight’s episode, I’m really feeling the big picture that the writers are ready to unveil. Sure, the cluttered subplots of Tara, Lafayette, Sam, Jason, Jessica, and the really tired Arlene story are still being played out, but a much larger story is really taking precedent. The big questions of the season are, what is Sookie and why are the vamps so interested? I know the answer, but won’t spoil it. Bill and Eric’s interest in Sookie is a fun love triangle, but the big development is Eric’s new campaign of revenge and its implications on the vampire world. King Russell Edgington has taken his anger public, as he interrupted a live newscast by punching a hole through the chest of the newscaster. While holding the dead man’s bloodied spine in his hand, Russell delivers a warning to the AVL and humans…”Why would we want equal rights to you? We will eat you…after we eat your children! Now it’s time for the weather, Tiffany?” Chilling!
Until Next Week!