There are obvious reasons for why I don’t much talk about my love affair with conspiracy theory. A light anecdote to get your morning moving: A couple of weeks back I wore a shirt to the gym commemorating my visit last year to the 2nd Annual Exeter, New Hampshire UFO Festival. New Hampshire lacks a lot of interesting things and there’s a particularly deep fringe culture vacuum that the UFO Fest came along and filled. It’s not without context, either. Roswell may be the genesis of American UFOlogy, but Exeter is where the ongoing mythology of abduction, human experimentation and men in black was formed when a pair of Exeter residents claimed to have not only witnessed a UFO but were taken up into it and messed with by the crew of said craft. It drew a wacky crowd of UFO researchers to the area and because I wore this shirt to the gym, it gave one of them license to corner me and start spouting off the so-called truths of reality. Now every time I go to work out I have to waste ten or fifteen minutes of the precious hour that I have there listening to this guy ramble on and on about ancient alien encounters with early man and how there’s evidence all over the world of alien visitation but the scientific community won’t address it because they’re either too cowardly or they’re owned by people who need to keep this evidence under wraps and discredit the people who know the truth. He even gave a paper he wrote on the topic. Twenty pages of impenetrable crazy-talk inspired by the poorly informed pseudo-anthropology of Zecharia Sitchin. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not necessarily a believer in UFOs. My conspiratorial forte tends to rest in doomsday cults and government black projects like The Montauk Project, but I’m not entirely a UFO critic, either. I just so badly want this stuff to be true that I need hard evidence to fortify my beliefs. I haven’t found any yet.
I also want to make it clear that I’m not a conspiracy theorist. I’m a conspiracy enthusiast, to coin a phrase. There’s a distinction to be made there.
The Orion Conspiracy, a twenty-ish minute long short film on the topic of, well, pretty much every esoteric conspiracy theory ever, insists that it’s not a work of fiction but it’s also not a documentary, which if you’re in the know on these sorts of topics, is actually a remarkably accurate description of the short. A member of an unnamed research group addresses members of the French government in a briefing on the topic of UFOs beginning with the Third Reich all the way up to today and how the world as we know it is not necessarily what we think it is. Because the subject matter and the writing is so strong, you hardly notice that you’re watching a video of a man diagramming some outrageous bullshit while three other dudes just sit and watch. Everything in this short exists out here on the internet somewhere and the slideshow presentation is not manufactured by the filmmakers but is taken from sources elsewhere, lending a tiny, tiny bit of credibility to some high-minded science fiction. It’s fun and it’s packed with enough information to occupy the rest of your day while you Google every name dropped in the movie.
Then clear your browser history.
You don’t want them knowing that you saw this video.