25 Feb

Can’t a guy get one ninja guitar solo? Ninja Assassin

Posted by Bryan White | Thursday February 25, 2010 | Reviews

You know? Even though it deviated wildly from the original comics and butchered my favorite scene, V For Vendetta could have been a lot worse. I actually liked it. It completely downplayed the political angle and I can sort of understand why. It was no longer the 80’s and it wasn’t produced in England. Context is everything when it came to V. Director James McTiegue had a good eye for style and even though I think his lens sterilized a movie that should have been a little murky, he came off like one to watch. Then they announced his next project.

Ninja Assassin hit the internet like a bomb with an amazing stunt training video. It was also a movie about ninjas. At least that’s what I gathered based on the title. To boot, it was to star Korean pop sensation, Rain, who co-starred in Park Chan Wook’s mostly overlooked crazy people in love movie, I’m A Cyborg But That’s Okay. So here we have a modestly budgeted picture out of Hollywood featuring ninjas and starring no one anybody in the west has heard of.  Hyped by a killer training reel, Ninja Assassin was looking up to be the movie highlight of my year. It really sucks that the movie is such a fucking royal disaster.

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22 Feb

Holy shit! I defy you to contain your enthusiasm for Frame 137!

Posted by Bryan White | Monday February 22, 2010 | News

It says Cyberpunk in the title cards and that always throws up red flags for me. Cyberpunk is a many splendored thing that very few filmmakers ever seem to get right. A lot of people make dystopic post-apocalypse flicks and then label them cyberpunk in the Gibsonian sense of the word and it kind of looks like that’s what we have going on here. Frame 137 is an Australian indie adapated from a short comic that ran in issue #61 of Dark Horse Presents back in the 90’s, a story by James O’Barr, creator of The Crow. Shot with one of those Red cameras with a particular lens that makes the whole presentation come off like it was shot in Cinemascope, which is why that video looks so god damn wide.

Directed by Judd Tilyard, the picture stars 10 year old Sam Ransom who does all his own freakin’ stunts! All the fighting, all the wirework, even that bit where he breathes fire. That’s fucking amazing! Chloe Moretz has a little competition this year for being the baddest tween in film. This movie looks so awesome. Holy shit, am I impressed!

22 Feb

It’s that time of year again! Cinema Suicide nominated for a Rondo Award!

Posted by Bryan White | | News

It’s Rondo time! A festive time of year for horror fans the world around. David Colton, with the help of horror fans everywhere through the majesty of The Classic Horror Film Board, has published the much anticipated ballot for the 2009 round of Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Awards and for the second year in a row, this here website is on the ballot for best blog. I managed to place a surprising third for 2008 considering the outstanding blogs I was in competition with. I wound up finishing behind Max Cheney’s great Drunken Severed Head and the towering stardom of Tim Lucas’ Video Watchblog, a blog I didn’t think I’d have to contend with this year since Tim shut it down the day after nominations for best blog turned up last year. Wouldn’t you know it, Tim is back and he’s on the ballot and for good reason. Tim is a legend among genre historians and his blog is just one more outlet for him to flex his knowledge but we can beat him this year! You and me, dear reader. All you have to do is hop over to the official Rondo voting site and take part in the voting process.

http://www.rondoaward.com/rondo/rondos.html

Read the instructions and follow them to the letter. Make sure to put your name in the email you send so the votes are counted, and for the love of god, don’t just vote for me! I’m fairly certain that waves of emails to the Rondos last year simply casting a vote for Cinema Suicide and nothing else were tossed out and cost me dearly in the running. Vote for as much of the ballot as you’re familiar with. There’s a lot of great stuff and at the very least, looking it over is going to direct you to a lot of movies, DVDs, books and magazines that you may not have even heard about. It’ll also afford you the opportunity to see some websites and blogs for horror obsessives like myself and direct your attention to some outstanding contributions to the genre. So take your time and have fun with it. The Rondos have no affiliation with any commercial entity and are put on at great expense to the organizers. This is a true labor of love and I’m honored to even be recognized.

Thanks, Rondos!

22 Feb

Live Free Or Undead! A Granite State anthology of horror now taking your submissions!

Posted by Bryan White | | News

I don’t often equate New Hampshire with horror. There’s something so vanilla about this state and I have a hard time believing that anything horrific ever came from this place, even if it did spawn G.G. Allin. However, I think that the one thing this state has been waiting for is the right author. H.P. Lovecraft put Rhode Island and Massachusetts on the horror map and a key ingredient in the success of Stephen King is the star of most of his stories, the great state of Maine. Quite frankly, I think I may be the guy to bring New Hampshire to the fore, or that may just be my arrogance talking. I don’t really know what it is about New England, but nowhere else in The Union does it seem like horror has roots like this region yet there really isn’t a horror author out there whose stories are categorically New Hampshire. To remedy this and maybe cultivate that association, editor of New Hampshire magazine, Rick Broussard, is kicking off a series of New Hampshire pulp fiction anthologies with a collection of horror shorts set in or concerning the Granite State and he’s taking submissions from any and all right up to the end of March.

I intend of participating as so far it’s been a pretty good year for Bryan White in print, and you can, too! Here are the guidelines:

  • Stories should be between 1,000 and 8,000 words, though longer stories will be considered.
  • You don’t have to be from New Hampshire, but your story must have something to do with the state.
  • It has to have zombies, hence the title, Live Free Or Undead

Accepted submissions will receive $50, a copy of the book and a write-up in New Hampshire magazine. Admittedly, I’ve long felt that zombies are out of gas, and when faced with the task of writing something zombie related, I tend to take it way out into left field since I’m a firm believer that even the most tired of horror tropes are capable of being interesting as long as you’re trying to do something original with them.

So go on with your bad self! Write up a short story about zombies and New Hampshire and head over to Live Free Or Undead where you can find everything you’ll need to be a contender for this upcoming anthology.

19 Feb

It’s the story of the millenium! Frank Dancoolo: Paranormal Drug Dealer

Posted by Bryan White | Friday February 19, 2010 | Reviews

A friend of mine went down to that 24 hour sci fi film fest they hold in Boston every year and he came back raving about this weirdo short film that he called something like “Coolio, paranormal drug dealer”. Turns out he was close on the name. Coolio has nothing to do with the picture and its title is actually Frank Dancoolo: Paranormal Drug Dealer. A little research turned up a couple of leads and before you knew it, director Andrew Jones was showing me to the website where you can watch the movie. At almost 8 minutes in length, Frank Dancoolo proves to the world what you can do with a green screen, a little know how with Adobe After Effects and a really weird-ass idea.

Frank Dancoolo concerns the search through Neo-Ultra-Mega-Tokyo by super reporter, Holly Malone, for Frank Dancoolo a drug dealer suspected in the murders of his customers. She vows to bring him to justice following an interview that will be the story of the millenium. She, indeed, finds Dancoolo after a series of nonsensical clues but discovers that his particular drug, harvested from his own spinal fluid, allows his customers to be psychic for a few minutes and unwittingly brings a race of cosmic beasts to earth whom Dancoolo must track down and kill. It’s ok if none of this is making any sense because none of it has to.

Frank Dancoolo combines manga physics and writing with an entirely greenscreened setting to create one of the most mindbending short films I’ve seen lately. Front to back, it’s all pretty silly, and that’s the point, but it’s also pretty cool and entertaining as all get out. Of the entire cast, Malone and Dancoolo are the only people speaking english and Malone delivers all her lines with a rapid fire barrage of slang torn straight out of a 30’s pulp novel. I’m reminded of Rob Schraab’s equally as awesome short, Robot Bastard at times and the addition of invisible Lovecraftian monsters from beyond seals the deal. It has great special effects and the lead actress is a riot and has a powerful fucking uterus, so I don’t recommend messing with her.

Watch the film by Andrew Jones here

17 Feb

The spookiest band you’ve never heard of: Devil Doll

Posted by Bryan White | Wednesday February 17, 2010 | Whimsy

If you Google Devil Doll, you’re going to wind up with some common search results. You’ll get a couple of early hits for the Tod Browning movie. You’ll find a bunch leading you to various resources for a nasty rockabilly band and you’ll find some cyptic hits for fansites related to an experimental rock group fronted by a wide-eyed lunatic by the name of Mr. Doctor.

Every couple of years I’m stricken with an irresistable urge to listen to this group even though I could write a comprehensive case study for why Devil Doll is bad for your overall mental health. I know what’s coming every time I press play for the first time. The following few weeks will be dominated by obsessive streaks of ceaseless listening. When not listening, the silence in my head will be replaced by passages from particular movements played again and again. It takes a considerable effort to put a stop to this and the withdrawal period is a tough one to ride out.

The history of Devil Doll is a strange one and in many ways, the story is a lot more interesting than the music, but you’ll be hard pressed to find something as completely original and compelling as Devil Doll, a fractured blend of style that spans some of the most unlikely genres. Nearly every album is a single composition made up of several movements. Militaristic orchestral pieces flow seemlessly into slavonic folk and then further down into driving metal and out into more orchestral horror that smashes influences together from Wagner to Weill to Hermann. All the while, the proceedings are overseen by the leader of the band, the enigmatic Mr. Doctor, whose vocal style is an obscure method called Sprechsang, an abrasive operatic technique that lives somewhere between speech and singing. The end result is consistently unsettling and one of the grestest untold chapters in horror.

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15 Feb

Local Producers Casting ‘Strange’ Web Series

Posted by Bryan White | Monday February 15, 2010 | News

How To Survive The Strange
Want to learn how to destroy evil robots with jumper cables or how to troubleshoot broken household appliances with ESP? New web series ‘How to Survive the Strange’ aims to be PBS’s This Old House meets a zombie apocalypse survival guide. An open casting call for the show will be held March 15th at 6pm at Crackskulls Coffee and Books in Newmarket, NH.

‘How to Survive the Strange’ is a tongue in cheek how-to series created by web producer John Herman and Bryan White, author of B-movie blog Cinema Suicide. According to the creators, the show aims to prepare the public for everything from alien invasion to campground slashers –often using common objects around the house. Herman and White are looking to cast zombies, ghosts, evil robots, and even a crazed mob. And there are non-strange roles to cast too.

Interested non-union union and non-union actors alike are encouraged to bring a headshot and talent resume, though neither is required to audition. Actors will be seen on a first come, first served basis. How to Survive the Strange debuts May 3rd on the web.

(Photo by Brian Turnbull)

12 Feb

Black Dynamite on DVD/Blu this Tuesday. Animated series on the way.

Posted by Bryan White | Friday February 12, 2010 | News

I’ve been yelling about Black Dynamite (review) since 2008 and last year I named Black Dynamite the Cinema Suicide top pick of 2009. My most anticipated movie of the year turned out to be my favorite movie of the year thanks to a hilarious script and one of the best comic performances of the last decade by Michael Jai White. Unfortunately, the movie has only been making the rounds on film festivals and in a limited theatrical run so really, you were pretty lucky if you got to see it on the big screen.

Now’s your chance, though! Black Dynamite will be hitting DVD and Blu-ray this Tuesday, the 16th and you can buy it at just about every available outlet. I strongly recommend that you preorder now.

The good news doesn’t end there, either! Though it’s just barely a mention in the press release, director Scott Sanders aludes to an upcoming Black Dynamite animated series that will be running on Cartoon Network’s Adul Swim at some point in 2010. Unfortunately, the news ends there.

12 Feb

It’s a trap! The trailer for Neil Marshall’s Centurion.

Posted by Bryan White | | News

I thought Doomsday was a little on the crappy side. A decent action flick but the references to my favorite post-nuke and dystopia movies did not go unnoticed. This trailer for the next feature from director Neil Marshall looks like a nice recovery. I had decided after seeing Dog Soldiers that Marshall was one of the most promising directors working and then he became one of the most exciting with The Descent but I’m a little tired of reference heavy movies and Doomsday, a good idea, was fairly derivative and rescued by how ruthless it was.

Centurion, however, looks like a cool flick even though it’s looking like Marshall is referencing another one of my favorite movies, The Warriors. I just wonder how I’m supposed to give a crap about brutal Roman soldiers when I typically root for the heathens. Rome’s legacy speaks for itself but in the process of dominating the known world, they destroyed every foreign culture that they came into contact with. Watching a legion of Rome’s finest get their asses handed to them by a tribe of Celts ought to be nothing short of awesome.

Knowing Marshall, this movie is going to be a nasty, bloody affair that never stops short of showing you what your insides look like.

11 Feb

The trailer for Birdemic. A romantic thriller about exploding birds.

Posted by Bryan White | Thursday February 11, 2010 | News

It’s only appropriate that I follow up my review of The Room with a trailer for the next maddening midnight contender. This is Birdemic: Shock and Terror, described as a “romantic thriller” by its director, James Nguyen, it seems to be an amateurish tribute to Alfred Hitchcock’s classic siege flick, The Birds. The trailer runs a mean two minutes long, half of which is a series of long panning shots of idyllic California seasides and communities. This trailer conceals a suckerpunch full of crazy, though. When it reveals its true intentions, the resultant footage looks like any given Geocities website circa 1999. Screeching birds hover above a cityscape, defying the laws of gravity, occasionally swooping into the city and exploding in magnificent fireballs! Sold yet?

I was fairly certain that this was some kind of spoof until I did the research and learned about the bizarre history of this picture. Just secured by one of my favorite DVD boutiques, Severin Films, Birdemic was shot over the course of four years, funded exclusively by director Nguyen’s salary as a software salesman. When rejected by Sundance, Nguyen decked out a van in fake birds, blood and ads for the movie and drove around the Sundance theaters blasting the sounds of screaming humans and bird attacks. Needless to say, this ballsy move on behalf of film marketing turned heads.

BIRDEMIC, described by Nguyen as “a romantic thriller,” is a horror/action/special-effects-driven love story about a young couple trapped in a small Northern California town under siege by homicidal birds. BIRDEMIC also tackles topical issues of global warming, avian flu, world peace, organic living, sexual promiscuity and lavatory access.

Severin plans to release the movie on DVD and Blu but before they do, they’ll be premiering on February 27th at The Cinefamily in Los Angeles in a theater made up to look like an actual aviary and hosted by Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim of The Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, big fans of totally crazy cinema.

Want some more? Here’s another scene:

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