Cinema Suicide

If only Disney didn’t take itself so fucking seriously.  Fans of cult film are probably aware, in some capacity, that in the late 70’s right up until the mid-80’s, Disney kicked out a series of movies both live-action and animated that they would probably prefer the world forget about.  I’m talking about flicks like Condorman, […]

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If someone were to come up with some kind of camp measuring stick, it’s a fair call that The Rocky Horror Picture Show would probably top the list but there’s certainly nothing wrong with coming in second given the metric shit tons of campy flicks produced since the dawn of cinema and the present.  What […]

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It has been a while since we have been graced with a full-bore trash opus from Lloyd Kaufman, and Poultrygeist proves beyond all doubt that the wait was well worth it. All of the classic Troma trademarks are present here: gratuitous frontal nudity, over the top gore, and politically incorrect humor that is guaranteed […]

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Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, when are they going to release you theatrically?  I mean, here in the United States?  Seems you were a victim of last year’s ‘Great Grindhouse Flop of Ought Seven’.  The failure of Grindhouse put the fear of god in Hollywood money men everywhere for some reason and because of that, the brakes […]

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During those dusty bygone days of the now-defunct Video Home System, purchasing films for your personal collection was a very costly venture. Unless the distributor had chosen to issue their product as “priced to sell,” the going rate for almost any movie on the market was simply outrageous. Spending close to one-hundred dollars on any […]

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Before he was the Terminator (1984), before he fought the Predator (1987), and even before he was Pumping Iron (1977), Arnold Schwarzenegger starred in his first movie, the low budget crap fest Hercules in New York (aka Hercules Goes Bananas, Hercules: The Movie, 1970).  Calling it a crap fest so callously does do it some […]

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It’s never entirely clear what’s going on in Attackazoids but New Jersey filmmaker, Brian Lonano, is on to something.  I’ve never been one to gush about Ray Harryhausen or stop motion animation but I’m occasionally caught off guard when I see a low budget production put it to good use.  One of the reasons I […]

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Whenever I start to feel like I’ve been watching a lot of badass, hardcore movies for the benefit of this site, I like to take the edge off with something down-low stupid. A real low maintenance feature that I can coast on. It’s like hitting Six Flags and pounding rollercoasters all day. You hit this […]

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Before I sat down to pen this late-night review of writer/director Daisuke Yamanouchi’s nauseating Japanese torture flick Red Room 2, I was forced to pay a quick visit to the write-up I’d concocted about the first entry early last year. Not surprisingly, my thoughts and feelings regarding this admittedly unnecessary sequel is pretty much exactly […]

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It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen anything as unapologetically violent and deliriously enjoyable as Noboru Iguchi’s stylish 2008 super-heroine epic The Machine Girl. From the picture’s over-the-top blood-spattered opening to its slightly ambiguous sequel-ready conclusion, yours truly sat in complete awe, slack-jawed and astonished. To be perfectly honest, I’ve never seen anything […]

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There’s truth in advertising and then there’s “Tokyo Gore Police.” It’s a movie so gory, violent and outrageous, so thoroughly soaked in blood and covered in thick coating of fleshy-bits and bone matter that simply putting “gore” in the title doesn’t quite cut it. In fact, the proverbial 1,000 monkeys at 1,000 typewriters could […]

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It’s been a while since I’ve done a Turkish movie. It’s not often that I come across them but thanks to Onar Films, a Greek outfit specializing in some of Turkey’s worst cinematic offenses, I have some new titles in stock. Though many aware of Turkish movies are familiar with that period of […]

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One of the legendary Cat III movies out of Hong Kong back in the 90’s tape trading circuit was a movie called The Men Behind The Sun which was a dramatic recreation of the World War 2 atrocities committed against Russian and Chinese prisoners of war at the Unit 731 compund. It is an […]

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Animal House was important to American cinema for not only making a profound satire on college life, but also for spawning the toilet humor classic King Frat. Released in 1979, one year after John Landis’ film arrived, King Frat not only tries to rip off Animal House, but tries to shamelessly outdo the competition using […]

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Suck the nub. Three words have never so easily summed up the tone and theme of a single movie. A film so patently unpleasant that even this jaded writer felt a little unprepared for it. Wicked Lake represents an uncommon occasion for me. See, I don’t have time to fuck around so when […]

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I will readily admit to anyone within earshot that I am, in fact, a complete and utter hypocrite and a seething, pulsating motion picture snob. Hard to believe, I’m sure, but every centimeter of that bold statement is true. This embarrassing factoid has become more apparent as of late, especially when I find myself lambasting […]

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It must be particularly difficult to be a feature film director and have only a few more than forty minutes to craft a well-rounded horror short that does what it needs to do in three short acts. This must be even harder if you’re just another schlocky remake director. Breck Eisner had the […]

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It’s been a while, dear friends, since I last seduced you with another pick out of MGM’s brilliant line of movies. As a matter of fact, with all that’s been going on around Cinema Suicide I haven’t even had much time to think about them myself. Well you’re in luck! Last night […]

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“The Strangers” is a tease of a horror movie. It’s a solid 75 minutes of frightful foreplay, with shifting shadows and menacing noises working in concert to craft pure, unadulterated suspense. There are moments when “The Strangers” is absolutely, unbearably terrifying, and first-time director Brian Bertino ratchets up the scares so effectively that, for a […]

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For assisting a local video store with the collection, transportation, and storage of the dusty, spider-infested inventory of a defunct Blockbuster Video store last year, I was rewarded with stacks upon stacks of neglected, unwanted low-budget movies on VHS. The titles range from brutally obscure to burn-this-immediately; I’m sure most of them will never experience […]

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