17 Jul

Rockwell Was Onto Something: Bryan Loves You

Posted by Todd Rigney | Thursday July 17, 2008 | Reviews

Bryan Loves YouHave you ever looked up from your delicious vegetarian lunch on the patio of a swank downtown eatery only to discover some hairy wack job with a digital camera filming your every move? If so, congratulations! You’re somebody special, and we should probably get together for dinner in the near future. Would you mind terribly if I brought my own Wal-Mart digital video camera on our date? I promise I won’t film you. Not while you’re looking, anyway. What goes on when your back is turned is between me, my camera and the waitress who’s in on my elaborate plan to control your life. Call me, okay?


Still with me? Wonderful! If that horribly constructed attempt at witty fiction didn’t trigger a particularly devastating case of the heebie jeebies, then director Seth Landau’s impossibly paranoid thriller Bryan Loves You should do the trick quite nicely. It’s an Orwellian nightmare for the YouTube generation, a vaguely surreal landscape sprinkled with hidden security cameras, secret stalkers, and sinister religious fanatics. Making the most of his very limited budget, Landau has crafted a genuinely affecting narrative that takes full advantage of society’s new found interest in digital voyeurism. A socially aware horror movie?

You don’t say!

Writer/director Seth Landau stars as Jonathan, a small town therapist who suddenly becomes interested in the inner workings of his local neighborhood cult of creepy mid-western Caucasians. This particular collection of religious zealots blindly worship the Almighty Bryan, an almost mythological figure who was savagely murdered by the one man he could not control. Jonathan’s anti-Bryan sentiments don’t go unnoticed, of course, and our hero soon finds his rather mundane existence slowly coming apart at the seams. Will Jonathan become yet another drone in Bryan’s ever-growing army, or can he escape with his beliefs and his life intact?

While the film is presented as a collection of home video and security footage documenting Jonathan’s descent into the bowels of a sinister religious organization, Bryan Loves You actually has very little in common with such like-minded efforts as The Blair Witch Project and The Last Broadcast, though I’m sure the comparison will be made by others. This increasingly popular technique allows Landau to not only sidestep the cheap look of most no-budget horror productions but to paint a frightening picture of just how deep this cult’s roots run within the community as well. Every building under their control is wired with an endless supply of security cameras capable of capturing every insignificant moment that transpires under their watchful electronic eye. The result is an eerie, unnerving experience that seems very relevant in this age of user-generated content and wonky CNN iReports.

Furthermore, Landau and crew have added some nice artistic touches to the overall presentation of the picture, including a very smart sound design and a bleak, minimalistic approach to set decoration. The latter is very instrumental in creating that incredible sense of unease I raved about earlier. The sparsely-dressed sets are impersonal and cold, giving you the same icky feeling one generally receives when stepping inside a hospital or an unlicensed back alley psychiatrist’s office. Was this intentional or the unfortunate side effect of a tiny budget? I’m really not sure, but its very effective nonetheless.

Bryan Loves You also sports a glistening trophy case full of genre-related talent, including Tony Todd, Tiffany Shepis, George Wendt, Lloyd Kaufman, and Brinke Stevens. What separates this flick from the usual “Look at all my snazzy cameos!” fodder is how Landau utilizes the talent he’s assembled. By casting them in atypical roles, he allows his celebrity types to disappear into characters that aren’t necessarily suited to their strengths. I don’t know about you, but I always get pumped whenever I see typecast actors turn in performances that might be a step or two out of their comfort zones.

However, despite a strong performance from none other than King of the Ants scene stealer George Wendt, it’s genre beauty Tiffany Shepis who walks away with my highly coveted Who Knew You Could Act Award. Angry, mean and fully dressed, Shepis proves she’s capable of more than just disrobing and dying. It’s a smart move, I think, one that may help her land meatier roles in the future. At least I hope so, as I think she’s grossly underused right now.

Aside from some spotty acting from it’s supporting cast and a clumsy action sequence towards the film’s finale, Bryan Loves You is an enormously entertaining sophomore effort from Take Out director Seth Landau. It shows an incredible amount of versatility without sacrificing the filmmaker’s stark visual style and his ear for smart, realistic dialogue. This is an oddly personal film for Mr. Landau, I think, and I’m sure it allowed him to exorcise quite a few demons in the process. And in my humble opinion, Bryan Loves You cements Seth as one of the smartest microbudget directors working today.

That’s what my mother’s creepy porcelain doll told me to say, anyway.


  1. July 17, 2008 8:37 pm


    I’m sold. Can’t wait.

  2. July 18, 2008 9:23 am


    Sounds pretty cool. I will have to check it out.

  3. November 30, 2008 10:24 pm

    Andrew Daehn

    This is the dumbest movie I have ever seen. I would sooner gouge my eyes out and have bamboo shoots shoved under my toe nails. This is the most painful thing I have ever had to endure. Send me back to Iraq. My eyes are bleeding.

  4. June 9, 2010 3:35 am

    Captain N

    I have seen fan-films more inspiring,entertaining and interesting then this movie. I cannot believe any of the stars that are in this movie actually agreed to be part of it. The film is full of plot holes which is unacceptable for a movie with such a thin and mindless plot to start with. The acting is bad too. As I said before I have seen better acting in fan-films. Dont waste your time in giving movies like this credit where no credit is due.

  5. August 22, 2011 5:42 pm


    are you KIDDING me? I just Googled this movie I spent 90 minutes of my life on hoping for something to spark my imagination for a religious cult horror project I’m working on. I hate to disparage the work of another fillmmaker, because such undertakings are hard work, indeed. But this movie went nowhere and made no sense at all. First it sets up you for raw minicam accounting of some horrendous events so gruesome as to risk permanent psychological trauma in the viewer. “Make sure you know where the exits are in this theater,” it warns you.

    Meawhile… It cuts in and out of videocam perspective and into objective POV without explanation as to where this omniscient POV video footage is supposed to have come from.

    It starts to reveal awesome and creepy details about an obscure cult taking over a town and digresses into a “Snake Pit” tangent that takes place in a sinister mental institution – a tangent that led nowhere and provided nothing original enough to induce even the tiniest goosebump. I wanted to see deep into the underpinnings of this sinister cadre and watch it’s subversive machinations. Not see a guy getting alternately yelled or drugged for half of act 2 to no apparent – definitely no specific – end. This movie was pointless and it is certainly no threat to even my grandmother’s delicate sensibilities.

    Nice masks tho.

  6. April 20, 2012 4:56 pm


    this is the most excruciatingly horrible attempt to a horror film i have ever seen!!!!the beginning sets u up looking forward to being terrified and absolutely not even one exciting thrill occurs at all!!! i sat through the entire painfully boring thing just waiting for that one thing that would require me to gain my equilibrium and nothing!so disappointed!

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